A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
Today I am here with yet another amazing mum and a blogger Alpana Deo. Alpana Deo is a wife-mom-writer. She is a through Indian in the heart of Houston, Texas. She’s passionate about passing her culture and language to her kids and also teaches Hindi in her spare time. She’s the founder, editor and writer at Mothers Gurukul where you can read & share on various parenting topics, recipes, craft/DIY ideas and much more. In addition, she is an NRI contributor to the prestigious Times Of India
It actually amazing how relations can be maintained without having met someone even once. Alpana is one such person whom I have never met but came in touch with her at the time when she was second time pregnant and was a few months away from delivering her child. At that time I seriously didn’t know that one work related mail can give me a friend forever. But, I believe such is a connection between two mothers. We kept in touch and I was very happy that Alpana remembered me and shared the news of her 2nd delivery with a son who was later named to be OM. We are good friends now who in spite of time difference chat up and share tidbits about life with each other and rest remains history. Read on to know her thoughts on parenting & motherhood.
1.Growing up, what were your thoughts on becoming a mother one day? How did your upbringing influence those thoughts?
To be honest, I don’t think I gave it a thought that deeply at that time but yes, now when I remember those days I feel how my mom managed to do so many things simultaneously? She is a superwoman. Today, when I am a mother, my upbringing has definitely played a major role in my thought process. There was openness in our conversation. We used to discuss and we still discuss a variety of topics. That helped me a lot in understanding the role of any mom in her kid’s life. Even though with time women have become more independent but the role of a mother remains the same. But at the same time, she has a life of her own. I keep telling my daughter (as my son is very young to understand this but he will be told the same) that mommy to has a life other than just being a mommy. She has her own likes, priorities too. And every child should respect that. The reason I can say this is because I have seen and experienced this through my mom. My mom was a working woman and had the variety of hobbies (I got my writing genes from her). And I have seen her doing both the jobs with equal dedication.
2.Is there anything you wish you had done differently before getting married or becoming a mother?
No, nothing in particular. Marriage and Motherhood are two very strong bonds we get to share to with two different people and each has its own demands and expectations. I believe that doing what you feel is right; having a positive attitude; confidence in yourself will lead you to a smooth path. And that’s what I am trying to do.
3. What were your first thoughts when you saw your baby?
I experienced it twice but that still remains the tough question to answer. Those feelings cannot be expressed or described in just a few lines. They are priceless. But yes, I can definitely say that it was a proud moment for me to bring a new life into this world. Holding my baby in my arms was a moment of pride for becoming a mother; a surprise to see the tiny miracle of God; gratitude to the almighty and a feeling of responsibility.
4. What was a unique thing about your kids/kid as a baby?
I believe that every baby is unique and special. First smile, first grip, first tooth, first flip, first step, and first word – each and every milestone are unique. I have enjoyed every phase when my daughter was born and now experiencing it with my son too.
5. How has imagining motherhood been different from the reality of motherhood?
Motherhood comes with its own moments of joy, challenges, pride and frustration. I haven’t imagined motherhood easier and simpler in any manner. Especially, today most of us live in a nuclear family set up which add up to some added responsibilities as you are the one who has to look after your child, your family and yourself. That makes it challenging.
6. What’s your favourite part of each stage of your child growing up – infant, toddler, child, teen etc?
As I said every milestone is special and so is every stage. We always look forward to the next stage or next milestone thinking that life will be little easy but it’s not like that. It comes with its own plus and minus. Talking about my favourite part of each stage then, there are lots of small moments and things my daughter used to do and now my son is doing. When my daughter was born, she would brighten my day with her cute and innocent smile, deep eyes and pure heart. When she stepped into toddler phase, with her I got to explore many things which I have never done before. I start seeing the world from a different angle. After my son’s birth, I am reliving all those moments once again.
7. What has given you the most joy as a mother? What has been the hardest part?
Motherhood is a beautiful journey. It’s like a book in which every day is a new chapter. Yes, I said day. Every day when I see my children grow, I grow with them as a mother. When something brings a smile on their faces; their achievements, bring joy to me. I also get sad when I see them upset. Like not all chapters are equally interesting but they have a moral, so is motherhood.
8. What is the one thing you would have liked to do differently as a mum?
To be frank, sometimes I get frustrated because I am not getting enough time to spend on things I like to do. If one thing I would have liked to do differently as a mum has the clock button in my hand and rewind it whenever I want.:) Jokes apart, every passing day teaches me some lesson and gives me the opportunity to correct it. I see those moments as teachable moments.
9. What advice would you give to other mums to be? The most important thing you feel they need to know.
Your child is a precious gift. Enjoy every moment. They grow really fast. Motherhood isn’t a practice, it’s a daily experience so cherish these moments. Don’t underestimate the importance of “Me” time. Believe in yourself. Stay positive. I would like to share one of my favourite quotes – “There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
10. Anyone special you would like to thank for helping you through parenthood?
Thanks for asking this question Rakhi. Sometimes, we forget to show our gratitude to our dear ones. So, yes, in fact, there are not one but many people I would like to thank. First of all, my parents who laid a strong foundation of rich values that has always helped me in taking right decision; my in-laws who supported me in my decision of upbringing my kids the way I want with their required guidance; my sister who listen to my boring and long talks whenever I am in a dilemma; my husband who is always there in whatever I do and last but not the least my friends. I am living outside India and friends are our second family. When my family is not with me, I know I can count on them. I thank God for blessing me with so many wonderful people in my life.
Stay tuned for another interesting read on very interesting and an amazing blogger Debolina Coomar.