As we say every pregnancy is different, similarly every new mum is different and her return to sex will also vary a lot. I have met so many different women with different stories on sex after birth. There have been some who were very horny immediately(not literally after the birth) after the birth of the child and few who felt dead on sex for months at a stretch. Well, I personally would say at that point in time the S word is definitely not on your mind.
Most OBs tell their patients to wait a good four to six weeks after childbirth before resuming normal sex life. In fact, the reality is if given a chance women would want to wait for a month to month and even year to have sex after the baby is born. Well, as a woman, your body changes during pregnancy and after childbirth. It takes a while to get back to the same pre-pregnancy state. Sex before pregnancy and sex after pregnancy is completely different.
Have you just recovered after giving birth to your baby?? Are you all set to resume your sex life again?? There are several thoughts every woman go through when she has sex for the first time after giving birth. Here are few thoughts listed below, do comment if you find your thoughts matching with any of these.
1} How will it work out?
After you conceive until delivery is a long gap of 9 months without sex. The body has undergone a lot of changes in pregnancy and post child birth. In addition to this, the responsibility of the little one keeps them sleep deprived and exhausted. They can barely remember day to day essentials let alone have sex.
2} Would it hurt?
After a long gap of over 9month to a year, most women might crave to share intimacy with their partner, but there is always a nagging fear if it would hurt. The stitches have just healed and they really don’t have the strength to take all the pain once again. It is completely natural to fear the sensation of pain and hurt in that region.
3} Will I have the libido?
The desire to have sex with your husband is the main fear a woman will have before doing it. Some women do not even get the urge to get too close even 6 weeks post-delivery.
4} The Baby’s Crying
Just when women begin to resume their sex life, they have this constant nagging feeling that the little one will start crying in the middle of sex. Yes, it is true. Whether the baby cries or not, the nagging feeling puts a break to having sex.
5} Feel tickly all over
The regions that aroused a woman during sex before pregnancy become the same region where a woman feels ticklish post-delivery. It takes them a long time to feel aroused again.
6} Feel Awkward
9 months plus 6 weeks is a long time. So it’s natural to feel awkward the first time you have sex after delivery. One partner is too slow and the other is too fast, Kisses miss the mark, and having an orgasm too early or late can lead to a lot of awkwardness.
7} Will I have an orgasm?
Having an orgasm is the ultimate satisfaction partners can give each other. Often women have delayed orgasms after delivery as the body undergoes turmoil of changes. Many women have the fear of having an orgasm during the first time they have sex post-delivery.
8} Please don’t touch my breasts
A woman’s nipples have been sucked, pulled, and treated like a 24/7 food service. The breasts and nipple leak all the time and feel sore. Women definitely do not want to be touched there post-delivery.
9} Genital is not like before
The first time a woman has sex after birth; the genital doesn’t open up like it did before. Every woman has the fear of whether it will ever be back to normal again.
After all the sleep deprived nights, every new mum just wants to grab some sleep when she gets the chance. “I am feeling sleepy” is the first feeling she gets after she has sex with her husband.
11} “I will never enjoy sex again”
Since energy levels reduce after birth, Women feel less motivated towards sex the first time after birth. This gives them an uncertainty of whether they will ever enjoy sex life before.
12} Feels the opposite of good
Recently, a small little human being is popped out of your system. And opening which enjoyed your husband’s attention earlier now feels the opposite. You just do not want to be touched intimately over there.
13} Is he grossed out of my flab?
Will he get turned off by one look at my flab or stretch marks on my tummy? Will he love me the way he used to before getting pregnant? That beautiful round belly that everyone thought was cute and adorable has transformed into what she may see as saggy, squishy, low hanging belly. I feel so unsexy after having a baby. I’m all stretched and saggy, I’m bigger, I’m always tired so hair and makeup are minimal if done at all. Track pants and loose T-shirts are the norms.
Well, these are the 13 most common thoughts which most women come across while trying to resume their normal sex life.
As a new mum with all the hormones surging, it is natural to get all these weird thoughts. However, this should not keep you feeling guilty about not loving your husband. Give yourself some time to heal mentally and physically. Be completely prepared for all the challenges and changes you feel when you first attempt sex after delivery. Don’t worry as you’ll get your mojo back soon. You are definitely not destined to have uncomfortable sex forever.