Age-wise guide on how to talk about sex with kids

Kids are the curious sort and are eager to know everything. Once they cross a certain age, they start getting curious about their own bodies as well as the opposite sex. This is the moment most parents and kids dread. The discussion about birds and bees can be a very uncomfortable one for both parents and kids and most of the time they don’t realize how to talk about sex with kids. Nevertheless, it is very important that this information comes from the parents rather than learning it from outside. The sooner parents get comfortable about discussing this topic, the smoother the process of explaining it would be.

Age by Age Guide on how to talk about sex with kids

Age 0 to 3: Exploring their body and Gender Awareness

As your infant grows into a toddler, they start exploring their bodies. They slowly grow aware of gender and start noticing the difference between boys and girls. Some of the tips that help you make your kids aware of their body and different sex are

• Maintain an open and serious tone about sex. It is a normal thing for babies to explore and touch their private parts during a bath. Your kid has started to get aware of his body and is bound to explore. Try to maintain a casual reaction to this rather than getting angry, making weird faces, or laughing.
• Teach your little one the proper names of all body parts without laughing or getting angry. Try not to keep nicknames for them to understand quickly. Even if they take time to learn, teach them the proper way. Making up other names for body parts tends to give them an idea that there is something bad about the proper name.

Age 4 to 5: Exploring the opposite gender

During the preschool years, your child’s curiosity about the opposite gender will increase. The following tips will help you deal with this situation.

• While playing with other kids, it is normal for kids to touch one another in an appropriate way and get curious about the opposite sex. But remember, they do not know that touching the other kid’s private parts is inappropriate. Calmly explain to your child that touching other private parts is not a good thing.
• Explain to your child that no other person including family or friends should touch her private parts and if they do, to tell you right away. Look for casual instances like when brushing teeth or giving them a bath, to tell your little one about their bodies, private parts, and opposite gender.

Age 6 to 7: Setting up boundaries

As your little one crosses the age of six, she will try to gather clues about everything like how babies are made, how different are girls and boys, and what sexual intercourse is. Try helping your child in the following ways

• Answer your child’s questions in a simple and truthful way. There is no need to divulge too many details as your child will get confused. Try to find kid-friendly illustrations that will help make the process of explaining easier.
• This is the perfect age to teach your child to set boundaries. Teach your little one to protect herself from sexual abuse. At this age, they grow conscious about their bodies and don’t like being touched in their private parts. Also, you will tend to observe a change that they don’t like to run around naked without clothes. Respect the feelings and teach them the importance of maintaining shame in front of people.

Age 8 to 12: Preparing for Puberty

Puberty is the most important stage in every child’s life. Children get more curious due to the raging hormones. It is very important that parents support their children’s curiosity without shunning them down.

• If your child asks you about sex, this is the right time to open up about every detail and explain the process. It is rather they learn from you than pick up the information from others outside.
• Use media or TV as an opportunity to understand your child’s curiosity about sex. If there is a sex scene in the movie that you are watching, calmly explain to them that it is a normal process between two adults.
• Prepare your child for puberty. Don’t completely depend on school for sex education.

Age 13 and up: Dating and exploring sex

By this age, kids know what is sex, but still, it is important that you make them aware of how they should protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Some of the tips below will help you prepare your child.

• Talk to your child about sex with mutual consent and rape. It is important that your child knows the difference between the two.
• Explain to your child that he or she should protect themselves from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Teach your child the importance of contraceptives during sexual intercourse.
• Tell your children to avoid watching internet porn or date people online to have sex as there can be legal consequences.
• Explain the natural arousal of sexual feeling like masturbation in both men and women.

As parents, it is very common to feel anxious about discussing sex, but in reality, discussing this at an early age can reduce the pressure. Avoid thinking big, rather think age-appropriate. Hope you liked this guide on how to talk about sex with kids at an appropriate age.

For more on parenting do check out here.

Copyright Notice

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author (owner) is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Rakhi Parsai (Lifethrumyeyes) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Stay connected with us on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter