“I think if you love what you do, and the choice that you have made in your life, somehow that drives you forward to enjoy it all. Even the chaos, even the exhaustion of it, and even when it seems out of balance —Angelina Jolie”
Being a working mother can be a taxing on the overall being of a women. Have you ever thought, to save time, money, your health and your soul, you could consider jettisoning some everyday baggage.
I would not say that stop worrying about your kids, also would not suggest that you should give up on the guilt which you have developed over a period of time. But yes i would definitely vouch for a better quality of life that a working mother needs to can lead with little effort.
No. 1: Being chef every night
Given the fact that we still live in a conservative society in which mums are expected to be the gourmet chef and should be tossing some awesome recipes each night. Its indeed best for the family but… So if you have a spouse, try and divide the cooking responsibility, make sure he knows which nights he’ll be on duty, and let him know he can make whatever he wants and you won’t complain. Plan out your meals in advance and see if their can be days when you can skip cooking and soaking your feet in warm water to relax.. Let your better half manage it for you and make whatever he please from Dal Rice, khichdi, Maggie, noodles, pasta and anything that he can manage easily. BUT.. Don’t Complain..
No. 2: Trying to get it all done
When at home, forget to make a to do list.Cos this will make you drain yourself till you mark a tick against each activity in the list. Just go with the flow. Do as much as you can, its perfectly OK to have a messy house, kitchen, laundry once in a while. Just prioritize the work which needs to be addressed immediately, and then eliminate the work you think should get done but that really doesn’t make or break your life.
No. 3: Gym
It goes without saying that you are the foundation of a happy and healthy family. Remember to pamper your body so that it stays fit and going for a long time. Focus on workouts that don’t require a commute or membership, walk or run around your neighborhood, do some yoga. Avoid Gym as it will take your time and that extra sleep which you can afford if working out at home, unless you have a strong goal of shedding the weight.. Staying fit is the Mantra
No. 4: Revolving your life around your kids.
You might be under the guilt trip since you are working and not being able to give time to your kids. However it does not mean that whenever you are free you will revolve yourself around kids and things related to them. From time to time you do need to have the me time for yourself. Away from kids and away from work to rejuvenate and bounce back.
No. 5: Refolding laundry
Have the responsibilities divided between all the family members. Even if your spouse or kid is not folding the laundry the way you like it. Let it be. Don’t re fold anything. Just enjoy the no-folding freedom and let them continue their share of work. Make it fun for the kids to fold the laundry, this will reduce your work and they will learn the art of folding, even if its after constant failed attempts.
No. 6: Trying for Mom of the Year
Our lives require making choices and sacrifices, and then being OK with them. Dont burden yourself with the thought of being the best mom. Do best possible but don’t stress during the process of doing best for your kids.
No. 7: Comparing yourself to other moms
For sure, your friend’s baby sleeps so much more than yours, her child is well behaved than yours—and eats all her food by herself.. Mums loves to boast about their child.. So don’t believe everything you hear.. Just continue being a good mom rather than comparing and competing. There is no absolute standard of anything in motherhood.
No. 8: Saying you’re fine
Its ok to being fine. Don’t say this often that you are fine when you are not. No ones going to punish if you say that you are not fine. Being fine all the time means we don’t need help or support, and I, for one, do sometimes. When someone asks how I’m doing today, I’m going to practice this response: “I’m doing my best, but I could use some help with….” Join me? Theirs no harm in seeking help.
No. 9: Staying up too late
We know a lot of working moms try to get more done by burning the midnight oil. It’s understandable, but not so good for you. Getting to sleep too late can cause a spate of problems, including depression, weight gain and brain fog—not to mention overall grumpiness. So try turning tech off earlier and go to sleep when you’re sleepy. You’ll feel better, and your family will thank you too.
No. 10: Handling all the hard stuff for your kids
As a working mother i am sure each mum would want to run to pick her child who’s fallen down, or call the mother of kids who pushed or hit her kid.. We are always ready to fight the world for our child.. Isn’t it.. However i believe we should not always be their to do the hard thing for the child. Kids need to learn, do and sometimes stumble—and then pick themselves up again. So don’t become Mrs Fix it always. Discuss it and let your child learn what he or she needs to know.
No. 11: Apologizing
No matter what its for but we are always on the guilt trip and constantly apologize for something or other. From having a messy house, bad dinner, not being able to make much time for our kids to what not.. we say I am sorry way too much. We really need to take conscious efforts to break this habit. However its good to apologize to your child when you think you have done something wrong.. So retain it just for your child
No. 12: Giving up your me time
Being a working mom does not mean that you need to give up on your me time. You may have hobbies, interests which you should continue with. I always loved reading but being a working mom made me reduce, rather quit on reading.. However now i have realized that being a working mom made me too busy to focus on my hobby. I feel bad about that. So I tell you this, hold on to your personal time and your personal pleasures. You’ll feel better if you do, and you’ll be better for your family and your job, trust me on that.
*This blog was originally written for www.worldofmoms.com