Before becoming a parent we all are warned about how life would change drastically, less sleep, fewer night outs and much more. No longer it will revolve around our own whims and fancy. But warnings around the gross stuff along with kids isn’t enough, like really gross things. Becoming a parent comes along with a lot of surprises and weird stuff. Weirdest of them all is that, things which used to make us gag earlier no longer bother us.
Pre-parenthood, the idea of puke, spit, farts, and anything having to do with poop likely grossed you out, which is totally understandable. But after you have your first child, it’s like a switch flips and all of a sudden nothing is too disgusting to handle anymore — it’s a weird gift, but a gift all the same. What once made us gag and cringe at the thought of having to do such an awful task, is now pretty much a normal part of our day to day life.
Read through for 12 gross things that no longer faze you after having kids.
Analysis of the Poop: Well this is an essential part of the newborn baby and they poop a lot. Varied and different colours of poop. You tend to analyse the colour, texture, smell, consistency and frequency of the poop. You become an expert with you child’s bowel movement and it does not gross you a bit to find the baby’s poop on your clothes or on your body. Not just analysing the poop but you also worry when your baby skips a poop during the day and get on to discuss with your friends.
Spit up & Puke: Initially when the baby is born they only spit and puke breastmilk, and although the puke is in small amount it happens frequently. Imagine a toddler vomiting. With the solid food, and decent diet the toddler vomit can cause a lot of clean up. From clothes to the floor, to cleaning yourself and bedsheets and much more. So I tell you, new parents, before you child reaches the toddler stage get over your reflex to gag over a vomit.
Farts: Coming out of a child’s bumm will sound and look very cute till the time that child is a baby. Babies fart a lot, like all the time, and they fart on you. It smells terrible and you may wonder how can such a small body produce horrific smell from that cute little bumm.
Snot: Well, now that you have a small child who does not know how to blow his nose or clean it. You might as well stick a finger inside the nose to remove the booger with your finger and help you poor little kid. It’s worth it to ignore the gross factor out of it.
Drool: Whether it’s clean and pure drool or full of food particles, you are immune to it being all over you. Congratulations.
Sneezes: Your poor little baby is sick and sneezes or coughs straight on your face which is full of germs. But you like a good parent wipe your face from your hand and it is perfectly normal for you.
Chewed-up food: Well, this happens with me every day. I am a soldier who is always ready to take the battle one and prepared with my armoury to save myself. Upon becoming a parent you will cup your hand in front of your child’s mouth so that they can spit out something they don’t like without missing a beat. This may gross you a bit, but at times I have been fed the same food by my little girl and I happily chew it for her sake. Does this gross you? Think about becoming a parent again.
Pee: Since the day this little bundle of joy is born he/she is going to pee all over you, especially if you vouch on cloth nappies more than a diaper. By the end of your babies 1st week, you have been peed so many times all over you that you would be unfazed with such pee or poop accidents for the rest of your life.
Eye gunk: You are a mum who does not like dirt getting accumulated in the corner of your kid’s eye. You would just poke your fingers in the corner of your kid’s eyes and literally scrap booger from the corner of the eyes.
Morning breath: Oh the baby looks so cute when he wakes up. My baby my love. Wait till you come face to face with the kid’s breath- morning or not. To be honest it may mean nothing to a parent and it becomes part of your life.
Ate your kid’s leftover food: Yeah, it sounds gross but it is not for parents. Imagine the plate, how it looks like after the kids have left food in it. Soggy, half eaten, saliva and snot covered food is the actual reality of these plates. Parents, they are totally immune to it.
Having an audience when you pee and poop: This one’s the best and from my personal experience. Your child literally follows you, especially they have a special eye on your bathroom visits. I am sure each one of you reading this would agree.
Well, trust me all that you think is gross, is totally worth it. Celebrate parenthood, celebrate your kid’s childhood. All this lasts for a very short time and you miss it when it passes.